Help?

Stuck somewhere where things can't really be explained, where you can't even hear yourself think...and when you point this fact out, nobody listens.

In fact, they accuse you of being a bitch.

Lovely.

I don't understand how you can miss an environment you dislike.

Notice I don't say hate...there are things that are, for lack of a more well-thought-out word, appealing.

I suppose I will live, and before I know it I will be back to where things are sane again.

At least there are people who understand, ya know?

It would suck ballsacks (haha, jackson) if I didn't.

A Countdown

The countdown has dwindled down to single digits, and it is actually quite frightening.

Returning home is never easy.

I hope things go well.

Missing You

After talking about him so much, I'm starting to miss him more and more. Maybe someday I'll fix things with him, he is my best friend after all...
I hope we can just pick up where we left off, ignore our distance and just continue on in life. I owe him so much, but don't feel in debt to him. How odd.

A Broken Cog

So recently I have started watching the soap opera Days of Our Lives with Amanda on the weekends. At first I was just extremely confused, characters with dramatic names like Raif and Sydney running around like crazy people talking about crime, comas, and baby switching.

It was fucked up.

So then Amanda went on Wikipedia and had me read a synopsis of the entire plotline (starting back in the 60s)

It took me three hours to get through.

And it turned out to be even more fucked up then I thought!

I mean the plotline begins with someone dying of Tuburculosis of the Hand!

That doesn't even exist! That is contradictory by definition!

So after three hours of reading about various comas, some kind of weird alien people called the gemini twins, countless accidents and attacks involving acid, plastic surgery/identity changes, tons of rapes, and a baby switching incident.

I am hooked.

Yes, now I indeed watch Days of Our Lives intentionally, just so I can see what fucked up thing is going to happen next.

I started wondering later, that if there were a nuclear holocaust and the only recordings of humans on video were the Days of Our Lives tapes, how society would turn out.

haha...let's hope that day never comes.

On the upside, I have started making my own soap opera. It is called "A Broken Cog" and stars the robots Madeline, Leopold, and Edward. I have to episodes done so far.

http://www.xtranormal.com/watch/5776849/

A New Post

Things are finally starting to close in on the semester, and really on the year of 2009.

I really would like to say though, that this was the best year of my life.

This was a year of change for me, some good some bad, but overall I'm glad they took place.

It's funny,

My last New Year began in Denver.

I suppose it is only fitting that it will end in the same place.

I accomplished alot this year, alot of goals were reached. However, there are a few people who really helped me throughout this year...and I think that they should be recognized. I appreciate everything they did for me, and even though they will probably never see or read what is written here, I still think it is worth it.

And as I keep saying,

This blog is for me.

Nicole,

was definitely one of the major influences in my year. I don't think I would have lived through chemistry without her, but more than that she was just always there to talk...
We didn't start out as best friends, we were just similar girls with some common goals...but that has all changed. Sooner or later, I don't really remember when, we realized that we are truely connected. In all honesty I lost my best friend in 2008, but Nicole was there for me through that. She supported me, talked sense into me, kept me...sane, but most of all she didn't try to talk me out of moving here. She accepted and recognized that this was good for me, and for that I am forever grateful. The fact that her and I can talk about anything, from the deep philosophical questions of life, to what boy we've been mackin' on recently makes our relationship one that really can't be replaced.

Eric,

We met at a party, I was a complete stranger to the situation, people, and surroundings, but he kept me connected. He let me into his life without judgement or question. I dated, and broke-up with his best friend, and still he stuck by my side. He talked me through so much, and gave me advice on anything and everything...and it is honestly the best advice I have ever gotten in my entire life. He talked me through my fits of lonelyness and my feelings of guilt. He got me to admit my own flaws to myself, and to start taking initiative to fix them.

Most importantly, he reminded me how to live a life that I love.

Angel,

Darling, without you I don't think I would have been able to keep going after my breakdown at the beginning of the year. I got back from Denver and was so confused about my life, and you helped me sort through those feelings. You kept me sane through the stupidity of my encounters with Zach Davis, and even those with my family. You were there for me every day, at least during World Cultures.

Minke,

I find it funny that our relationship began with nothing but insults. How two people build a friendship off of that is a mystery, but I suppose that's just how you roll.

You were really great to me, you got me out of my insane environment and were always there to pick me up when I needed it. And me moving to Denver, and you to Chicago, made that stronger if anything. You are so nice to me, even though I'm so mean to you :3
You are definitely one of the coolest people I know.

Sinea,

My demented little darling, I miss her so much. Overall Sinea was always there for me when I cried, her sympathy was always genuine and that can't be said of many. She sees through peoples insincerity and substitutes a logical answer, and yet she is one of the most fun and entertaining individuals I have ever met.

Then I moved to Denver,

Carissa,

My darling, she are so good to me. I have shaken up the life she used to know and have, and I suppose I am kind of apologetic...but she seems to be tolerant of my behavior...and that is really amazing. She accepted me into this group and has helped me adjust to my move, and I know that this will last.

Jackson,

I really don't want to write stuff, because that will just fuel the fires of the rumor mill...but he really has done so much for me. I would have no friends if not for that fateful day when he told me we had the same phone. He introduced me into the group I am associated with now, and I would have had a completely different Denver experience if it weren't for that. Through all that, he and I are devoutly similar and that relation makes him an amazing friend to have. He is always there...cheering me up when I'm sad, venting with me about fucking french class, and just hanging out with me during the fourth periods where I really should be doing physics.

Chi,

We didn't start out as close, but shortly after homecoming that changed. Thanks darling, all the things I don't want to tell anyone else I tell you...you bring a fresh perspective to my many issues and are willing to listen.

Kyle and Amanda...thanks for rescuing me. Nothing more can even be said besides that.

Alyssa, Anna, Zach, Dani, Ariel, Diza, Jake (T and D) there are so many people that changed my life...but to write much more would take alot of energy out of me.

Thanks guys...

Hopefully this year will just be an improvement to the last.

Surprised Yet?

shocker, people are stupid.

surprised yet?

I think not.

I mean, he not only lacks timing but also awareness to the fact that he kind of broke the ever so sacred laws of friendship.

way to go.

I guess I can't blame his stupidity since he is indeed a part of the male species, but still...don't I get to be mad?