To Those Who Appreciate

"But I hate sweaters"

"Carissa! It's not about the sweater itself so much as the spirit of the appreciation!"

Yes, the Sweater Appreciation Club has officially spread to the west side. I'm totally excited.

Things, at least for this particular aspect of my life, are going swimmingly. I've got a great, excited, vice president. Alot of spirit, and thirty five members in counting!

I'm totally excited for this to really take root. I've already picked my sweater for next Thursday.

But like I told Carissa, sweaters are great, yeah, that really can't be denied. However, it is really just the whole energy surrounding the SAC that makes it so special. The sweater needs to be appreciated, that's true, but really for me it's about how something as simple as a sweater can be so positive.

I mean, the day before, the hours before even, things just felt lost.

And I'm not saying that the SAC cleared my mind or anything, but by george it was a successful distraction from everything that's been going on. Isn't that cool enough?

It's similar to that line in Dogma, when Serandipity says something like

"It isn't necessarily what you have faith in, but that you HAVE faith."

I think that applies to this situation here. I mean,

It isn't necessarily that you have appreciation for sweaters, but just that you HAVE appreciation.

Maybe that's a strech, but I think you all get the point.

Admit It

I can't say I am totally unaffected by this whole situation.

I mean, it sucks. The title of "filler girl" is not a pleasant one.

If I do nothing, then the world looks on me as if I am hiding something.
If I do something, then I will be judged on my behavior.

Awesome right?

I guess it isn't a huge deal though, I figured passiveness would get me somewhere. It did...and yet I am still under the impression that I didn't get what I might have wanted. Then again, since I didn't know what I wanted, that is also a falacy in itself.

Nothing was done in specifics to me I suppose. People were looking out for themselves, and that's okay too. Now I get to do what I am good at, being passive.

I did alot of expanding my horizons over the last few weeks. My first instinct is to revert that immediately, but I am fighting to not do so. I am trying really hard to just accept. A clean get away.

Make Your Comparisons

"The original punk rocker, Mozart"
-Kyle Williams

The Piano Concerto number 23 is my favorite composition of his.

The intricate piano motif makes me think, and the back up airophones and cordophones are superiorly complimentary to the piece as a whole. I think it should probably be taken a closer look at, since it is just absolutely stunning to listen to .

For my music class, I am suppused to make a musical comparison.

I definitely want to use this Mozart piece...but what to pair it with.

I think I want to use Hammers and Strings, Jack's Mannequin.

It has a similar feel to it in the hesitation in the piano line, but there is also the use of cordophones, and vocals that accentuates this but isn't the main part of the peice.

Like Mozart's Piano Concerto, it also has a point where it get's slightly happier in the beginning.

I don't know...I'm probably going on a leap here, knowing nothing about music really. I should probably take more time and do it right, go with the multicultural thing. But this might be just more interesting. Although my teacher will probably shut me down.

I am just drawn to these two songs, but maybe I should just listen to them instead of doing my project on them.

Oh well, wasting time blogging about it doesn't solve the problem, if anything it just makes it more official that I am going to use these two pieces. If he doesn't like it, that's fine.

These two songs speak to me, and I think they speak to eachother too.

Isn't that the rewarding part about music anyway?

For You

Once upon a time there was a girl who had a blog. A blog that for whatever reason, lead to really great things. The best of which being the most recent.

I would like to think that I am a rational person, one who thinks things through and comes out on the other end of it all with a good decision. However, that would be a lie. In reality I'm simply inconsistant, and sometimes just plain stupid.

and yet, people accept me this way. In fact, some people like me this way.

I'm the type of person that likes to watch things unfold around her, not do the unfolding herself. When I'm scared, I just step back from the situation and avoid it.

Not all the time though, sometimes I face things head on. Sometimes I take initiative, walk to the edge of the cliff, and force myself to jump.

Again with inconsistancy.

So the other day, when I found myself speechless of a particular situation, I tried to hide from it.

That was probably a bad decision now that I think of it.

I thought I had made a decision, but then every time I see the person involved, I change my mind. That's the funny thing. I'm a big fan of the live and let die thing, but I don't feel the same way about this.

Everyone that I ask advice from says the same thing. To do what feels right for you, but that is hard for me. I've spent the majority of my life living to do things for others...to do something for me, to make my own decision? That's something I have a hard time doing.

I would like to think that this post is once again being written to the "ambiguous you" of the internet, but I know I would be wrong.

I know who I am writing to specifically, because I know they read this...and I think that this person knows who they are too.

When I Think of Home

"I think the most noble thing of them all is to do something good, and to be content with not being recognized for it."

-Mr. Arichea

Everyone kept saying the Wiz was a fitting musical, especially the seniors that were dealing with their own, personal home identity crisis at this crucial time when sooner, rather than later, they will pack up and move away from whatever they considered to be their homes.

"I mean, what is home, but a place of broken furniture, shattered dreams, faded memories..."

No. Since I moved away from my faded memories, I have discovered a new meaning of the word home, yet I don't think this really became clear to me until yesterday.

Mr. Arichea said that The Wiz made him realize where his home was, it made him connect the seemingly scattered dots together to form a picture unique to him.

I know this is the same for me too.

"When I think of home, I think of a place where there's love overflowing."