For You

Once upon a time there was a girl who had a blog. A blog that for whatever reason, lead to really great things. The best of which being the most recent.

I would like to think that I am a rational person, one who thinks things through and comes out on the other end of it all with a good decision. However, that would be a lie. In reality I'm simply inconsistant, and sometimes just plain stupid.

and yet, people accept me this way. In fact, some people like me this way.

I'm the type of person that likes to watch things unfold around her, not do the unfolding herself. When I'm scared, I just step back from the situation and avoid it.

Not all the time though, sometimes I face things head on. Sometimes I take initiative, walk to the edge of the cliff, and force myself to jump.

Again with inconsistancy.

So the other day, when I found myself speechless of a particular situation, I tried to hide from it.

That was probably a bad decision now that I think of it.

I thought I had made a decision, but then every time I see the person involved, I change my mind. That's the funny thing. I'm a big fan of the live and let die thing, but I don't feel the same way about this.

Everyone that I ask advice from says the same thing. To do what feels right for you, but that is hard for me. I've spent the majority of my life living to do things for others...to do something for me, to make my own decision? That's something I have a hard time doing.

I would like to think that this post is once again being written to the "ambiguous you" of the internet, but I know I would be wrong.

I know who I am writing to specifically, because I know they read this...and I think that this person knows who they are too.