I Laugh So Hard

I laugh so hard when I read the things you post on your Tumblr. I don't laugh because it's "haha funny." I laugh because it is fucking ironic, all the things you say.

Sometimes I wonder if you ever really sit back and think about your life. If you really believe some of the things you say about yourself on the internet. I mean, everybody's got their personas, don't get me wrong.

I know that on the internet, I seem a lot like a narcissistic bitch, but hey, I KNOW this, hence the blog title. But at the same time, I also know that I'm not that person in real life, but do I care? Nah. If I cared, then I would try to make myself look better than I actually am.

You try to make yourself sound so sincere, trying to make yourself seem like this open book of all things docile yet independent, friendly yet bitchy, and all together a deep, dynamic individual who has what...Just decided to pour out everything in their heart and soul out on the internet for their "followers" to see?

I mean quite honestly, I do not think anybody reads this blog, and if people do, then good for them. Maybe someone can be entertained, and thought provoked from whatever it is that I write here, but you can't know a person from their blog posts.

Even if that's your intent; to put yourself into the internet page that has ridiculously become your second home.

Believe me, I have experience in this matter. A blog is not you. It may be a part of you, just like anything else can be. Your room, your locker, your art, your essays, anything of yours really. It may be a part of you, but it can never really be you.

But backtracking to my original point. It makes me laugh to see what you want the world to think of you, or maybe even what you think of yourself, because who knows? Maybe your Tumblr is a place of undying truthfulness and therapy. But really, if you know these things enough about yourself to post about them in depth on a blog, then why do you need the blog to help you discover it?

When I sit here, and write these things out, I realize that no, I am most likely not inspiring people with "my story." No, I am not trying to figure out myself by spitting out my inner most thoughts into the internet. And no, I'm not trying to impress my friends.

Really it all comes down to boredom, and the fact that this feels a lot more productive than doing whatever it is I could be doing.